Thursday May 24, 2001
Mikey has the next four days off which means a stressful weekend for me. It'll be fine for a few hours, but before tomorrow is over we'll be trying to kill each other over stupid things. Such is my lot in life I suppose.
I'm watching Lifetime again tonight. This evening's fare is about a dad who gets a psychotic crush on his daughter's room mate. Pretty scary stuff. I hate watching movies where guys are cheating on their wives anyway, but when they get all crazy-like it's so very much worse. These movies illustrate over and over how easy it is to fuck up someone else's life. The bad guys always get caught or else there wouldn't be a movie, but you know for every person who gets caught there are 10 more out there getting away with it.
I finally got around to stopping by 3WA again. It's been about a week, but I got pulled in right away. It's pretty interesting to see how other intelligent people view things. Sometimes I get pissed off at what I read, but I know better than to write anything on there that's even a little bit inflamatory or else I'll start a riot of sorts. I like confrontation and debate in small doses, but I don't intend to get myself flamed out of there. It's funny how everyone has their own special buttons and how they are all so different for each person. I have several actually, but a big one is intolerance. I get so pissed off when I hear someone dog someone else out because they are different. That goes both ways though. Once I saw on a thread that someone put someone down for being too skinny. If it had been the other way around, she would have been strung up, but to say someone is too thin so they must have an eating disorder is just as wrong.
I hate the whole weight debate. I think there is way too much pressure put on appearance. A century ago and in some culture's today, a woman with extra padding was/is much more desirable. It meant that the woman was healthy and prosperous. 50 years ago women were just bigger in general. Marilyn Monroe was something like a size 14 or 16 I believe, but my facts could be a little off on that. The point being, though, that she wasn't a size 6 or whatever. Now it's just out of control. I think that women envy size more than anything else. Not me though, if I were to envy anything it would be sense of humor and bearing. That can take you so much farther in life than anything else.
I'm not kidding myself though, nothing's going to change. I'm as guilty of it as anyone else. I definately notice a hot guy walking down the street. I've had crushes on the biggest jerks, but convinced myself that they weren't that bad becuase they looked so good. I didn't used to be quite as bad when I was younger, but then I went through this whole stage where I was looking for trophy guys. I wasn't planning to marry them so they better be good for what I did want them for. Self esteem issues, I know. No one has to tell me that, it doesn't take rocket science to figure that one out. I'm not saying I'm innocent of that whole scene, I'm just saying that it's wrong. If everyone could let go of the unreal standards then I think it would be like a huge burden was lifted off of so many people's shoulders.
I wonder how much different life would be if looks truly didn't matter any more. Racism wouldn't be a concern because no one would care what anyone else looked like. People would get jobs, spouses, and opportunities based on effort and talent. It maybe wouldn't be a perfect world, but I bet things would be a little more fair.
